an attempt

i tried changing my blog layout but instead i lost my header pic in the process.

oh well. whatever.

anyways. after a long hiatus, ive decided to write again.
but its not that I have something worth to write about.

2nd November is important. Y?
Its my last day of pupillage. Yeay.

But. I still have things to do. Put my papers in order.

BTW.
Im still trying to unlock certain things.
Trying to look for that missing puzzle(s).
Fitting it into a bigger picture. And learning new things.
Being a better person is in the list.

Its a process. A longgg process.
Hiccups here and there.
But I can assure, nothing can beat the feeling of satisfaction after all the efforts. 

Hence, attempts after attempts are inevitable.


**extra note : You are what you are.

Effort

Effort/s.

Is that too much to ask?
But then again, ure still in your comfort zone.
Mind you, maybe im not going to be there anymore.

Note to self: Dont put too much expectation in something because u'll never know that it might hit you back. hard.

tipu

"Chambering students will always get away with things. You guys can even get away with murder, yada yada yada"


I BEG TO DIFFER.

5th Month

I am proud to say that on the 2nd of June 2010,
we have entered our 5th month of chambering!

Well done.
Crap.
i stil got 5 more months to go.
Cheers!

The truth

The truth is...

I dont know what the truth is.

From the heart.

there will be a time when you will realize that you cant satisfy everybody,
and it works both ways.

But sometimes you thought that maybe you could be the exception
or you thought that what you are or what you portray yourself as, is enough.
But its not.
Nothing is ever enough. and nothing is ever good enough.
But that's life. Its human nature. Its norm.

And there are certain things that i've realized.
Pointing finger is never the answer.


Maybe a change of weather is good.
The best so far i guess.

Its not that I did'nt try.
but maybe trying is overrated.
its alright, this is the time when you know that you have to let certain things go.
Slowly. Pieces by pieces.

Im not gonna say its easy
Its not. Its going to take time.
But its better than what I was feeling before.

To a new beginning, and hopefully, a better one.

work*

Im clueless.
I dont know what i want.
I dont know where my interest lies.
I just dont know.

Certainty.

im not perfect.
and im not asking for perfection.

but i just need to be certain.
Thats it. Certainty.

Space

when you thought all you need was space...
Clearly I need something more than that.

I need to dissappear.

Nasty- nastier- nastieeesssssnesttttt??

I got this from Miss Mariette. Its in one of her many forwarded emails.

 
One of the worst things about life is not how nasty the nasty people are.You know that already. It is how nasty the nice people can be.
– Anthony Dymoke Powel


very true indeed. 

Someday

You can go
You can start all over again
You can try to find a way to make another day go by
You can hide
Hold all your feelings inside
You can try to carry on when all you want to do is cry

Cause maybe someday
We'll figure all this out
We'll put an end to all our doubt
Try to find a way to just feel better now and
Maybe someday we'll live our lives out loud
We'll be better off somehow
Someday

Cause sometimes we don't really notice
Just how good it can get
So maybe we should start all over
Start all over again

*cheers*

Attention!

Dear Nik, Steven and Mark,

Stop vandalising my blog by writing comments using the partner's name.
I know its you guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kind Regards,
Taiti Champion. *hahahaha*

read between the lines

first hand info.
second hand info.
third hand info and so on and so forth.

pernah main game bisik-bisik tak?
best because its funny.
but in reality its not.

Hmm. one thing that I should ponder on.
if i have time la kot.
but i dont.

I miss.

:)

deep inside

i choose not to speak.
so i write.

but i dont have anything to write about.
i have no feelings.emotions.expressions or whatsoever.
im exhausted.

How can I explain it to you when the things that I was trying to convey is so direct?
being lost is not direct either.

its not hard. easy actually.
and now im sinking.
deep into the sea.

Run away

Sometimes I wonder,
what have I been learning in school?
4 years of law school goes down the drain.
well, not literally but you know what I mean.
I seriously, seriously cant find the answer and Im clueless.

An opinion is not an opinion when theres nothing to write about.
Can I just give a blank piece of paper and say "you are entitled to any opinion that will serve your circumstances and needs".
Coz thats the beauty of a blank paper. U dont need any authorities.
U just do anything that u wish to do.

Unfortunately, life is not that easy.

pieces by pieces

i guess, when the time is right,
you have to learn how to let go.

and in my case, its got nothing to do with love,
its just learning how to let certain things go.
even if it hurts.
pieces by pieces.

so. let go.
slowly.

Entah lah

i cant read u sometimes,
and i dont know how to.

susah. sangat susah.

Do you remember?

Im not asking you to make me your number 1.
But, I want you to notice me.
Notice my existence.

Im neither here nor there.
But, Im everywhere.

So tell me, is that too much to ask?

Facebook's Stats

we all have facebook account right?

i mean alllllll of us. even orang yang dah tua pun main facebook skarang.

weird.

but. theres this one status from a friend of mine that goes :

If you like me, please let me know, because you never know I might like you too!

 

seriously. it caught my attention.    

because somehow, its the truth. 

you never know until you try.

but the thing is, what if ure afraid of taking chances?

what if that person doesnt like you back?

taking risks and chances are not my thing when it comes to love. 

rejection is pain. 

i'd rather wait than having to take chances. 

i know its boring and safe. but i still dont have the guts. not just yet. 

or maybe the right one (the one) hasnt come along. Maybe, im not ready to take chances.

So. Lets wait and see for the right one. i think i'll fight for you. maybe, just maybe.

so people. what say you?

Busy

Why am I still wide awake eventho its already 150 am?
Why??!
Because. I. Am. Currently. Doing Work.
It was a last minute thing and a last minute notice.
So yeah. I think I should resume back to my work.
It needs my attention.

Oh. Darn.
Working life sucks.
I mis school!

Monday : 4th January 2010

Monday, 4th of January 2010.

New chapter begins.
A start to something new.
But a day that i will dread because it means that freedom is going to be freedoom!

oh well.
doesnt matter.
I just have to see how things go...
Hopefully, I wont screw things up.

and now i have to force myself to sleep.
coz i slept at 630pm and woke up at 2am.
its 320am. n yes. i cant have my sleep cycle ruined.
not when i have to start working on Monday.

So, people.
Wish me luck. oh. and the very best of luck.
I need it. :)

Lost and Found

one thing i forgot to mention in my previous entry.

2009: the year that i lost a dear friend but gained many.

i dont know whether its a good thing or not,
but i'm sure things happened/happens for a reason.

:)

oh. and to all; HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I hope and really hope that 2010 will be different in many ways.

P/S: Seriously girl, you need a mirror. Yes, its your blog, but i seriously think u need a mirror. and a big one.